Up Is Down Black Is White Law and Order

Greetings, friends,
Thanks for everyone who sent me some kind of news story about the "Hunting for Bambi" paintball idiocy in Las Vegas. If you had clicked on the link I sent you for "Columbine Paintball" you'd have seen it had nothing to do with paintball, or Columbine High School.

And as to that business in Vegas, who really cares? I can't knock anyone's method of making money...I've seen so many stupid ones at this point.

However, this George Bush x-ray is completely free, and it's the funniest thing I've seen in a while (thanks, Adam):
http://www.kicken.com/funnyfiles2/www.kicken.com-bush.x-ray.swf

Here's all the news that wasn't fit to print. Maybe you're thinking, why am I still getting this Iraq bullshit from Joel? Didn't we WIN? Didn't we just assassinate his family? (Anybody remember the old "don't lower yourself to your enemies level"?) Nobody blinks an eye that Saddam Hussein's two sons were killed...yet we're supposed to recoil when it happens in New York City Hall? Like I used to say to the gangbangers who'd come into the library in South Central, live by the sword, die by the sword.

Is it any wonder that most countries in the world are reluctant to help us?

Bush policy risks terminal strain in NATO
By William Pfaff
http://www.iht.com./articles/103447.htm

** Plus ca change in Franco-US ties **
A book of gripes about the French issued to GIs in 1945 sells out in France - and seems surprisingly topical.
< http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/europe/3087785.stm >

But here's some good news; Americans are wising up:
Bush's Approval Ratings Continue to Fall
Zogby Polling Services
http://www.truthout.org/docs_03/072003E.shtml

And there's good reasons. We're being accused of something now that even Ronald Reagan never brought down on us:
Iraqis Accuse U.S. Forces of Torture - Amnesty
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20030723/ts_nm/iraq_amnesty_dc
** INTERVIEW-Amnesty accuses U.S. of rights abuses in Iraq **
Amnesty International accused U.S. troops on Sunday of "very severe" human rights abuses in Iraq and complained that it had been denied access to thousands of prisoners held without charge in "appalling" conditions.
http://www.msnbc.com/modules/exports/ct_email.asp?http://famulus.msnbc.com/FamulusIntl/reuters07-20-093336.asp?reg=MIDEAST
U.S. Accused Of Torture In Iraq
CBSNEWS.com
http://www.truthout.org/docs_03/072103F.shtml

YIKES! Are we truly that evil?

And how come I never read about this in the Times?
Cheney Under Pressure to Quit Over False War Evidence
Anger grows on both sides of Atlantic at misleading claims on eve of Iraq conflict
By Andrew Buncombe and Marie Woolf
The Independent
http://www.truthout.org/docs_03/071703B.shtml

Phew, I've got to take a breather.

At least we're bringing law and order to the world at last. It's sorely in need. Beth and Bill, are you listening? LOOK WHAT PEOPLE ARE DOING...

...in Australia...
Men With Shotgun Steal Bags of Garbage
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030718/ap_on_fe_st/australia_garbage_theft

...Zimbabwe...
Fuel Crunch Leads to Rent-A-Corpse Scam
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20030721/od_nm/odd_zimbabwe_corpses_dc

...even right here in the US of A!
Man Found Guilty After Mooning Jury
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030718/ap_on_fe_st/jury_mooning
U.S. 666, Devil's Highway, Signs Stolen
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030719/ap_on_re_us/devil_s_highway

Egads! And just to get serious again, how'd you like to be scolded by Madeleine Albright (remember her, she of the large brooches?) Not me, brudder:
Squandering Capital
By Madeleine K. Albright
Washington Post
http://www.truthout.org/docs_03/072103H.shtml

Madeleine's got nothing to worry about. Even when everybody on the whole planet despises the US, we've got new options in security to protect us. You all know about the private security guard. Ever heard of the private army? You have now:
Have Guns, Will Travel
By P. W. Singer
New York Times
http://www.truthout.org/docs_03/072203F.shtml

I'm so glad that everything will be all right...it will be all right, won't it?
Pizza Cuts Cancer Risk?
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20030721/od_nm/odd_pizza_dc
Austria Doctors Perform Tongue Transplant
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030721/ap_on_fe_st/austria_tongue_transplant

I mean, we sure know what we're doing here in California. We're gonna get rid of the Governor in favor of the Governator (and yeah, I actually think he might be a pretty funny Governator), and we're boosting a Presidential candidate because of a comic strip.

Sorry, Andrea, but I am really not sure about this guy. When I actually laid out everybody's statements side-by-side the other day, the only one who didn't sound like a) born loser or b) born loony was John Kerry. But what do I know? I'm one of the assholes who voted for Nader in 2000 and caused all this trouble in the first place, right?
Howard Dean Surges to Top in California Poll
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20030722/ts_nm/politics_california_poll_dc

But who cares, really? I mean, there's so many important things going on, forget about your lame government, just pull up a rocking chair...
Mother Kept Mummified Daughter for Aliens
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20030717/od_nm/life_kazakhstan_corpse_dc

Finally, if you like your historical analyses raw and uncut, here's a nice tome about Middle Eastern politics, particular the Iranian Revolution of 1979 and the Egyptian Revolution of 1952, and how they continue to reverberate:
http://meria.idc.ac.il/journal/2003/issue2/jv7n2a6.html

Vive le Screed!