On this Christmas 2003, I have to confess that:
I think Jesus was born in September, and nowhere near Bethlehem.
I think Jews, Buddhists, Muslims etc. deserve a special consolation prize for putting up with this sh*t.
I think I deserve a special consolation prize for all the people who wish me a Merry Christmas, pause, then say meekly (even though I am a baptized Roman Catholic), "Or, I mean, Happy Hannukah."
I think the pagans who started this holiday a few thousand years ago (the Winter Solstice) should have a huge Christmas-tree-and-wrapping-paper bonfire at Stonehenge on 26 December...every year.
Anyway, that said, I hope you have a good...whatever.
On with the SCREED: Geri Soriano-Lightwood, the model parent of a 5-year old, has good advice for you parents of teenagers:
And I have some holiday advice: be careful who you decide to piss off.
275-Pound Prostitute Strips Attacker
Remember, not everyone in the world is as priveleged as we are here in America:
Large Closet Space a New York Status Symbol
Not everyone knows how to really get into the holiday spirit:
Fishermen Dress Lobster As Barbie
Lithuanians Go Bananas for Washed Up Cargo
Pity us poor librarians, who can't even disrobe without creating a chorus of Puritanical titters:
'librarians have a life outside and we are not boring people'
The myth of the prim and proper librarian has been shattered in the latest example of ordinary women baring all for a charity calendar.
Anyway, from the absurd to the grisly; if you'd like to solve a real murder (a real Canadian murder, anyway) try out this website on your day off:
And check out this creepiness:
U.K. Castle Cameras Catch Ghostly Visitor
Enjoy the holidays while you can, because our "winter wonderland" might be melting away:
Global Warming is Here Now, Say Delegates
By Agence France Press
The Taipei Times
FRAGILE PLANET: Both developed and developing countries were already suffering from the greenhouse effect, conference delegates said, pointing to financial losses
Hot Spot in 2003? The Earth, U.N. Says
By The Associated Press
Remember that your government will be creating its own "global warming", around bonfires and paper-shredders:
By Christopher H. Schmitt and Edward T. Pound
U.S. News & World Report
The Bush administration is doing the public's business out of the public eye. Here's how--and why
They're using the traditional "holiday pardon" to fill their empty offices:
Critics: Convicted Felons Worked for Electronic Voting Companies
By Rachel Konrad
Sarasota Herald Tribune
It's a new year, and the sins of the past are forgotten:
Remember 'Weapons of Mass Destruction'? For Bush, They Are a Nonissue
By Richard W. Stevenson
New York Times
Still No Mass Weapons, No Ties to 9/11, No Truth
By Derrick Z. Jackson
The Boston Globe
But George better watch out...or others will take his place in the public eye:
Paris Hilton Beats Bush in TV Ratings
Here in California, our new Governor would like to spend his holiday out of the public eye, but some are keeping an eye on him (thanks, Mark):
Click here: ArnoldWatch.Org
And thanks to Nona and Dana for our new State Seal (attached).
Okay, just briefly, a little bit about the rather nasty (but ultimately boring) Democratic race for President; first, the travails of poor John Kerry:
The Trial of John Kerry
By William Rivers Pitt
t r u t h o u t Perspective
Poor John Kerry (thanks, Monde):
Maybe you have heard about this already, but I had to send it to you, since I totally broke up when I saw it, remembering what you'd said about how Kerry would be the favourite of bookkeepers and other "bureaucrati" types:
December 6, 2003 -- Struggling 2004 Democratic wannabe John Kerry fires an X-rated attack at President Bush over Iraq and uses the f-word - highly unusual language for a presidential contender - in a stunning new interview with Rolling Stone magazine.
And for those interested, the actual comments Al Gore made in endorsing Howard Dean, which confirm why YES I did not vote for him in 2000 and would vote for Ralph Nader, again, if Al Gore was running:
AL GORE STEPS IN
Former Vice President Al Gore's endorsement of Howard Dean for president yesterday has set off more than the usual level of political rumblings. While many deep theories are being conjured up to explain it, Mr. Gore's remarkably straightforward, even blunt, explanation makes sense: Mr. Gore thinks Mr. Dean has the best chance to win and take the White House back for Democrats. After all, that is the most typical reason to endorse a candidate to get on the winner's bandwagon as early as possible.
This article was mailed from The Washington Times (http://www.washingtontimes.com/op-ed/20031209-085524-7389r.htm)
For more great articles, visit us at http://www.washingtontimes.com
Yep, it's a great time to be alive...it makes you proud to be an American:
The Death of Horatio Alger
By Paul Krugman
The other day I found myself reading a leftist rag that made outrageous claims about America. It said that we are becoming a society in which the poor tend to stay poor, no matter how hard they work; in which sons are much more likely to inherit the socioeconomic status of their father than they were a generation ago.
Just try to get into the Christmas spirit...please?
Endless Christmas Carols Irk Czech Clerks
No matter how weird you are, get into the Christmas spirit (thanks, Miles):
And get ready for New Year's Eve....YEEEEEHAWWW!
A World Drinking Record
Vive le Screed!
24 December 2003