The Persian Carpet Bomb

Greetings, friends,
Every episode of "Mission: Impossible" makes me pine away for the good ol' days. Today our crack American agents had another tough job, rescuing one of their own from the clutches of the KGB. The Russians had captured an agent posing as a musician from a "psychedelic rock club", though I seriously doubt that such a club, complete with body-painted go-go girls, ever existed behind the Iron Curtain (though it was great that they thought so in '67.) I was also surprised to see the KGB using LSD as a truth serum...not the best drug for that purpose, especially when the American agents had an antidote! There's an antidote for LSD? Yay!

Today is also the vernal equinoxe, the first day of spring (or fall to my friends down under), and in Persian-speaking countries, it's Nowruz, the New Year's holiday involving a lot of goldfish later dumped into fountains and gutters.

As I have in the past, I'd like to throw out a collection of stories from the Middle East, a place that has spooked even the hardcore in our government. People are still dying every day, but the White House would like you to forget about it for a while. They want you to worry about the future, and the Middle East is not a good example of our future.

They want you to worry, for example, about our Social Security pensions. What wonderful largess...try out this on-line calculator to see the incredible piles of cash, and then marvel at how much could be funnelled into Wall Street (remember to multiply by millions.) My friend abroad should be especially amused to see the fantastic lifestyle Social Security offers us here in the generous US of A. Sorry, but the calculator will only work if you are younger than 55 (thanks, Geri):
How much will you lose?
http://democrats.senate.gov/ss/calc.html

Fortunately, most people in this country are more worried about the future.
New Poll Finds Bush Priorities Are out of Step with Americans
By Adam Nagourney and Janet Elder
The New York Times
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/030305C.shtml

I mean, we've got a woman being starved to death in Florida...HOLY SHIT! STICK A TUBE IN HER! You'd hate for your kid not to be kept brain-dead for 15 fucking years in a hospital, right, rolling her eyes at nothing? It's the Christian thing to do, like restoring the electric chair (another news item from Florida) or blowing up an abortion clinic. I'm sure the spirit of Jesus, come to suffer for us again this Easter, would jump right up and jam that tube of food right down your throat.

This is how they do things in Florida, which I'd like to visit right after my trip to Bosnia and Zimbabwe:
5-Year-Old Cuffed, Arrested in Florida
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050318/ap_on_re_us/child_arrested

But hey, these are the days of righteous Christian indignation, right? The people who watched with horror as rock & roll and secular humanism took over (or enjoyed it and later repented) are now calling the shots.

Look what they did to poor Michael Jackson; they drove him MAD (warning, you will need a broadband connection; thanks, I think, Ellen):
http://i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=8357

Not that they hate the world, no, the world is our oyster. We've demonstrated our love of the world by foisting three of our meanest, most vicious Florida dogs upon them. All three of them are part of the Monster Squad who wiped over Grenada and then Nicaragua in the 1980s. First of all, they send this pig into the sterile diplomacy of the United Nations:
Bolton Known to Some as the Un-Diplomat
By Paul Richter
The Los Angeles Times
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/030805C.shtml
The Enemy Within
By Sidney Blumenthal
The Guardian U.K.
How an Americanist devoted to destroying international alliances became the US envoy to the UN.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031005F.shtml
Bolton's Baggage: UN Basher as UN Ambassador
By Tom Barry
International Relations Center
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031405M.shtml

I know that would get my attention at the Central Library, if the City sent us a fucking ARSONIST.

Then comes step two: send this murderer, who has the blood of innocent civilians dripping from every pore, to run the World Bank:
Wolfowitz at the door
The Guardian
Bono and Bill Gates are two of the better-known names who have been mentioned as possible new presidents of the World Bank, though only the Microsoft founder would have qualified, according to the tradition that one of Washington's two multilateral financial bodies is headed by an American; the other, the International Monetary Fund, is run by a European. The announcement that George Bush's nominee is a US citizen was thus no surprise. But there was shock and consternation when the president named Paul Wolfowitz, the former deputy secretary of defence, and one of the prime movers of the Iraq war.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1439543,00.html
Bush to Recommend Wolfowitz for World Bank
By Jeannine Aversa
The Associated Press
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031605Y.shtml
Bush's 'Shocking' Choice of Wolfowitz for World Bank Provokes Outrage
By Andrew Gumbel
The Independent UK
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031805B.shtml
World Bank Workers Reject Wolfowitz
By Julian Borger
The Guardian U.K.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031905D.shtml
Nomination Shocks, Worries Europeans
By Keith B. Richburg and Glenn Frankel
The Washington Post
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031705B.shtml
E.U. Fury Grows at Wolfowitz Appointment
By Geoffrey Lean
The Independent UK
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/032005D.shtml

And finally, choose the man who did some of Reagan's dirtiest work, arming barbaric right-wing militias across Central America, to conduct the collection of all our intelligence.
Veteran of Dirty Wars Wins Lead U.S. Spy Role
By Duncan Campbell
The Guardian U.K.
Written off by many after his role in Central America, John Negroponte's revived career hits a new high.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/021805C.shtml
Negroponte's Dark Past
By Robert Parry
In These Times
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/030705Y.shtml

Let's just say, no one will ever mistake George W. Bush for a genius in the future. But there's more...let's say, accidentally blast one of your best allies out of Iraq?
U.S. Forces Kill Italian Agent after Reporter Freed
Reuters
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/030405X.shtml
Foreign Minister Says Car Carrying Slain Italian Agent in Iraq Not Speeding
The Associated Press
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/030805E.shtml

And wait...look who the blasters were working for:
Negroponte's Guards Shot Italian Agent
The Associated Press
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031105Z.shtml

End result: We get a little closer to making Iraq a purely American disaster:
Berlusconi to Pull Out Troops from Iraq
By John Hooper in Rome, Ewen MacAskill and Richard Norton-Taylor
The Guardian U.K.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031605Z.shtml
Headline: A wilting coalition
"THE COALITION of the willing is losing its will. Italy justannounced it will withdraw its 3,000 troops from Iraq by the fall. The Netherlands, Poland, and Ukraine are also in the process of pulling outor preparing to pull out an additional 4,750 troops."
http://www.boston.com:80/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/
articles/2005/03/18/a_wilting_coalitionTwo
Years Later, Iraq War Drains Military
By Ann Scott Tyson
The Washington Post
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031905B.shtml
'Preemptive Strikes' Become Policy
By John Hendren
The Los Angeles Times
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031905F.shtml

Could this much stupidity be an accident? It couldn't have been planned much better to make the United States into a joke (and a big, mean, dangerous joke) abroad, and an incompetent corporate toy at home. Here's how they reward incompetence:
Justice Dept. Opposes Bid to Revive Case against F.B.I.
By John Files
The New York Times
Washington - The government has told a federal appeals court that a suit by an F.B.I. translator who was fired after accusing the bureau of ineptitude should not be allowed to proceed because it would cause "significant damage to the national security and foreign policy of the United States."
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/022605Y.shtml

Incompetence so gross that the whistleblowers need whistleblowers:
Head of Whistleblower Office Criticized
The Associated Press
Washington - The head of the federal office responsible for protecting government whistleblowers is the focus of a complaint filed Thursday by some of his own employees, who say he is undermining laws that encourage workers to expose wrongdoing.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/030405J.shtml

But friends, I see desperation behind all this madness. I see Republicans in high places too busy whoring it up to really care about the Christianization of this country, but when their oil company stocks start falling, it's as sharp to them as a well-deserved kick in the balls:
Treasury's Role in Illicit Iraq Oil Sales Cited
By Colum Lynch
The Washington Post
Senator releases e-mail from parties involved in shipments banned by U.N.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/021805F.shtml

To them, it's the end of the world as they know it:
Oil Prices Could Hit 80 Dollars in Next Two Years: OPEC
Agence France Presse
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/030405G.shtml

If you piss off a few suppliers, no worries...
Chavez: Our Oil Reserve Does Not Belong to Mr. Bush
The Associated Press
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/030905L.shtml

Because there's always more:
Senate Votes to Allow Arctic Drilling
By H. Josef Hebert
The Associated Press
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031605X.shtml

Until it all runs out:
Running on Empty
By Robert Bryce
Salon.com
The leading energy analysts who foretold Enron's demise have an alarming new claim: The world's major oil companies are almost tapped out.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031505G.shtml

But we've got plenty of black goo stashed over in Iraq, right? Isn't that the real impetus behind giving these people their "freedom" to keep out of their way while we make a few of them very, very rich? Except they can't decide who will be the ones to get rich:
Iraqi Power-Sharing Talks Falter
By Rawya Rageh
The Associated Press
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/030305E.shtml

And then, of course, the United States also controls other valuable commodities, like the Ultimate Leveller, the one drug that, unlike LSD, American agents have been using successfully for many years. And if you think I'm exaggerating, go back over your own personal list of friends, and try to calculate how much devastation was inflicted upon your culture by the depredations of heroin, how many artists and musicians and writers died, all for a bit of bliss in the heart of a spoiled bourgeois poverty, and how much poverty was then concealed by that cloud of Persian brown:
Afghanistan Now Nearly 'a Narcotics State'
The Associated Press
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/030505C.shtml

The clowns running the US government think, rather incorrectly I should say, that they can keep these Muslim countries under control. And regardless of what they say, they despise Muslims far more than the Europeans; they want the Second Coming, they want a Holy War NOW:
To view the entire article, visit
http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=43130

Here's how you get it: attack a much larger country; not with 20 million people, but 70 million. If Alexander the Great could do it, why not George Bush?
The Onion Bush Announces Iraq Exit Strategy: 'We'll Go Through Iran'
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4110

Prod them first to see how hard they kick:
U.S. Uses Drones to Probe Iran For Arms
By Dafna Linzer
The Washington Post
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/021305B.shtml

To their racist eyes, they've got nothing to worry about, just like Iraq; check out this training video of female Persian police, and you'll think, "These people are a pushover."
> Very very very interesting! Iranian police women!
> http://switch5.castup.net/frames/20041020_MemriTV_Popup/
video_480x360.asp?ClipMediaID=53728&ak=null
> Watch and enoy.

Better yet, let your friends do all the dirty work:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2089-1522978,00.html
Revealed : Israel plans strike on Iranian nuclear plant
'America Would Back Israel Attack on Iran'
By Francis Harris
The Telegraph U.K.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/021805I.shtml

Trust that your soldiers will kill and kill and kill again in respect of your wisdom:
Regaining My Humanity
By Camilo Mejia
CodePink.org
I was deployed to Iraq in April 2003 and returned home for a two-week leave in October. Going home gave me the opportunity to put my thoughts in order and to listen to what my conscience had to say. People would ask me about my war experiences and answering them took me back to all the horrors-the firefights, the ambushes, the time I saw a young Iraqi dragged by his shoulders through a pool of his own blood or an innocent man was decapitated by our machine gun fire. The time I saw a soldier broken down inside because he killed a child, or an old man on his knees, crying with his arms raised to the sky, perhaps asking God why we had taken the lifeless body of his son.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/021705Z.shtml

Trust your allies to stand behind your puppet governent:
U.S. Frees Iraqi Kidnappers So They Can Spy on Insurgents
By Patrick Cockburn
The Independent UK
Americans undermining local police attempts to crack down on wave of abductions.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/032005C.shtml
Kurds Vow to Retain Militia as Guardians of Autonomy
By Edward Wong
The New York Times
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/022705F.shtml
Kurds' Return to City Shakes Politics in Iraq
By Edward Wong
The New York Times
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/031405I.shtml

Stick your head in the Arabian sand, but don't worry. Everything will be all right. If we run out of oil, we'll buy it or steal it or kill for it. We'll play rough but everyone will always be our friends. And if things don't work out, oh well, Jesus is going to clean up the mess and knock off all the Muslims, Catholics, Democratic liberal sinners, and Godless Commies anyway.

Maybe the Russians were using LSD. It would blow the lids off any of the clowns who dreamed this mess up.

Vive le screed!