Anti-Faschistische Mai Tag Liga

Grüße, meine Freunde,
before I jump into this rather unfocused bilingual SCREED, I would turn your attention to this interesting project of the National Geographic:
http://www3.nationalgeographic.com/genographic/

For a mere $100 US, you get a kit that will allow you to take a DNA sample (painless cheek swabs) and in return get a description of your genetic background going 60,000 years into the past! Using the movement of certain DNA tags, scientists have plotted the various migrations out of Africa, into Asia, Europe, Australia, the Americas etc. While not answering specific question about your relatives, it will supposedly chart the long-range migrations of your distant ancestors. The more people submit, of course, the more refined the results become as a whole. This is, I believe, a worldwide project; on the website look closely at the image to find the place to click (not obvious.) I'm doing it and you will see my findings HERE.

Now then, why is everyone so pissed off that a creaky old Bayerischer Mann is our new Pope?
Arch-Conservative German Elected Pope
By Philip Pullella and Crispian Balmer
Reuters
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/041905A.shtml

I've been surprised at the anti-German sentiment I've read, especially on message boards and chatrooms. There are plenty of real worries about Pope Benedict, such as his involvement with OPUS DEI (which I am happy to RANT about if anyone cares) or a distinctly non-inclusive streak:
New Pope Intervened against Kerry in US 2004 Election Campaign
Agence France-Presse
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/042005Z.shtml
From Joseph Ratzinger to Pope Benedict XVI
The cardinals’ choice of new pope reflects the Catholic church’s crisis of modernity, says Michael Walsh.
http://www.opendemocracy.net/debates/article.jsp?id=5&debateId=127&articleId=2441

Not that it was ever possible, sorry, to be a good Catholic and still enjoy life in the 21st century, sorry, friends, but that's the truth. Still, it bugs me to see all this picking on an old man:
Pope Is Forgetful, Elder Brother Says
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20050425/od_nm/pope_brother_dc

Especially when he shares a birthday with my favorite Aries. I mean, what's all this Hitler Youth business?

Get some straight dope here:
http://joseph-ratzinger.biography.ms/

Allow me to go off on a rant for a moment, and just skip down a few paragraphs if you get bored. First of all, anyone of Pope Benedict's age in Germany would have been a member of the Hitlerjugend (Hitler Youth) from age 13 to 18, which after 1936 was compulsory. Girls had to join the Bund Deutscher Madel. After all, I was in the Boy Scouts, and I'm not sure there was a big difference.
http://www.history-of-the-holocaust.org/LIBARC/ARCHIVE/
Chapters/Stabiliz/Racial/LawConce.html

I've been pondering this suspicion of Germans for many years, as I studied the Weimar period (1919-1933) with fervent appreciation at university, and will readily admit that German is the only language other than English I've been able to read or dream in. It's been brought back to my attention lately, and not just because of the Pope, but also because I might be reading and dreaming in German again soon, with any luck.

I was once confronted with anti-German mistrust in the presence of a German friend here in Los Angeles. After a few moments of conversation at a party, she was asked suspiciously where she was from. When she replied, with complementary temerity (she knew what was coming), "Frankfurt", the reply was, "Oh, you're GERMAN. I'm Jewish." I recall another German friend (and I think that would be you, Claudia) telling me a similar story, but her response was "So what?" whereas this woman was too surprised to say anything. So I said "So what?" for her.

I immediately thought of a little cafe in Bruxelles, where Richie said "I think she hates me!" after the hostess detected his accent and took her sweet time serving us. I also remembered Charlie Gomez' insane girlfriend, who asked if I was a Nazi because I could speak German. "What!" I may only be 1/4 Jewish, but still foolishly thought that automatically disqualified me from any Nazi leanings. I took this opportunity to inform my fellow part-Jew that, as a descendant of Ukrainian Jews, my gripe was with Russians and Ukrainians, not Germans. On the contrary, once they came across the Atlantic, most Jews from Eastern Europe found that their real problem was not anti-Semitism, but the German Jews, who were the upper-crust top dogs in America.

I've had the pleasure of knowing a lot of German-speakers in my life, and they come in a variety of shapes and sizes. See if you can pick out your friends or yourself:
A Frisian art conservator who tried to burn down his apartment rather than pay his rent.
A woman from the Hamburg area with an affinity for flamenco and, last I heard, the tango.
A photographer with a taste for dirty dancing, stuffed animals and erotically mangled English, such as "I will enjoy you later."
A half-nutty Tirolian artist with a taste for the underworld.
A flamboyantly gay fashion designer who once crashed a friend's party in a long pink boa.
A video artist with a taste for flying saucers and Hollywood glitz.
An obsessed mathematician who ended up killing himself.
A chanteuse belting out the classics in Berlin.
A pair of globe-trotting adventurers jumping off mountains.
And of course, the man who taught me German, an American biker with a taste for Jim Beam and a passion for Berlin.

What do all these remarkable people have in common? None of them ever fit the "German" or "Austrian" or "Swiss" stereotype, which I see lambasted all over the Internet once I poke through the intellectual cover. None made an anti-Semitic remark in my presence (well, Johann did call me a "filthy pig" and threw me in a pool one time). Not so during my voyages to Belgium, Ireland, the Netherlands, Italy, France or Spain, where people felt free to ask right out if I was a Jew or (in Northern Ireland) apparently skirt me because they thought so. I wasn't too annoyed, because 1) I ain't Jewish, and in fact just attended my very first Passover Seder, a brilliant train wreck of a ceremony which I throughly enjoyed, although what relevance it had to being Jewish I still don't understand; and 2) at least Europeans are upfront about their racism. The most anti-Semitic country I've ever lived in, surprise! would be the good ol' USA, where I've been physically and verbally attacked just for looking Jewish. Of course, I haven't been to Persia yet.

And now, the whole rant again in GERMAN! (Und jetzt, die komplette Rede wieder auf DEUTSCH!) Excuse my poor combination of GOOGLE and long-disused German.

Erlauben Sie mir, auf einen Angriff während eines Momentes zu gehen, und überspringen Sie einige Punkte, wenn Sie gebohrt erhalten. Zuerst, jedermann des Alters des Papstes Benedicts in Deutschland würde ein Mitglied des Alters Hitlerjugend von 13 bis 18 gewesen sein, das nach 1936 obligatorisch war. Mädchen mußten das Bund Deutscher Madel verbinden. Ich war in den Jungenpfadfindern, und ich bin nicht dort war ein grosser Unterschied sicher.

Ich habe dieses Misstrauen der Deutscher für viele Jahre beobachtet, weil ich die Periode Weimar (1919-1933) mit fervent Anerkennung an der Universität studierte, und ich lasse immer zu, daß Deutscher die einzige Sprache anders als Englisch ist, das sobald ich innen lesen oder träumen könnte. Es wird zurück zu meiner Aufmerksamkeit kürzlich geholt, und nicht bloß wegen des Papstes, aber auch, weil ich auf Deutsch lesen und träumen werde, wenn ich glücklich bin.

Ich wurde einmal mit Anti-Deutschem Mißtrauen in Anwesenheit eines deutschen Freunds hier in Los Angeles konfrontiert. Von nach einigen Momenten des Gespräches an einem Beteiligten, wurde sie gefragt mit Misstrauen, wo sie kam. Als sie antwortete, mit ergänzendem Nervosität (sie wußte, was kam), "Frankfurt", die Antwort war, "OH-, Sie sind DEUTSCH. Ich bin Jüdisch." Ich rufe einen anderen deutschen Freund (und mich denken Sie, der Sie sein würde, Claudia) zurück, mir eine ähnliche Geschichte zu erklären, aber ihre Antwort war "so, was?", während diese Frau auch überrascht war, alles zu sagen. Folglich ich gesagt "so was?"

Ich dachte sofort an einen kleinen Kaffee in Bruxelles, in dem gesagtes Richie "ich denken, daß sie haßt mich!", nach der Hostess lehnte ab, uns zu dienen. Ich erinnerte auch mich die geisteskranke Freundin von Charlie Gomez, die fragte, ob ich ein Nazi war, weil ich Deutsches sprechen könnte. "Was!" Ich bin nur ein viertel jüdisch, aber dachte noch, daß automatisch disqualifiziert mir von allen möglichen Gewohnheiten Nazi. Ich nahm diese Gelegenheit wahr, meinen Mitjuden zu informieren, daß, als Nachkomme der ukrainischen Juden, meine Mühe war mit Russen und ukrainische Leute, nicht mit Deutsche. Auf dem Gegenteil sobald sie über den Atlantik kamen, fanden die meisten Juden von Osteuropa, daß ihr reales Problem nicht anti-Semitismus war, aber die deutschen Juden, die die Oberkrusteoberseitenhunde (what a great word!) in Amerika waren.

Ich habe das Vergnügen des Kennens einer Menge Deutsch-Lautsprecher in meinem Leben gehabt, und sie kommen in eine Vielzahl von Formen und von Größen. Sehen Sie, wenn Sie Ihre Freunde oder sich auswählen können:
Ein kunstkonservator Frieser, das versuchte, hinunter seine Wohnung zu brennen anstatt, seine Miete zahlt.
Eine Frau vom Hamburgbereich mit einer Affinität für flamenco und, letzt hörte ich, das tango.
Eine Fotografin mit einem Geschmack für reizvolles Tanzen, angefüllte Tiere und erotisches konfuses Englisch, wie "ich genießt Sie später."
Ein Hälfte-nußartiger Künstler von Tirol mit einem Geschmack für Straßenleben.
Ein wild homosexueller Art und Weiseentwerfer, wer zum Beteiligten eines Freunds kam, das eine rosafarbene Federboa trägt.
Eine videokünstlerin mit eine Neigung für Fliegensaucers und Hollywoodzauber.
Ein intensiv fokussierter Mathematiker, der sich schließlich tötete.
Eine Kabarettsängerin, der klassische Melodien in Berlin singt.
Ein Paar Welt-einkreisende Forscher, die weg von den Bergen springen.
Und selbstverständlich, der Mann der mir Deutsches beibrachte, ein amerikanisches Motorradmitfahrer mit einem Wunsch nach Jim Beam und eine Liebe für Berlin.

Was haben alle diese bemerkenswerten Leute im Common? Keine von ihnen passen überhaupt den "Deutschen" oder "Österreicher" oder "schweizer" Stereotype, welches ich sehe alle über dem Internet, einmal das ich durch die intellektuelle Abdeckung stoße. Niemand sagte eine Anmerkung gegen Juden in meiner Anwesenheit (O.K., Johann rief mich ein "schmutziges Schwein" an und warf mich in einer Lache ein Tag). Dieses war nicht von meinen Reisen nach Belgien, Irland, die Niederlande, Italien, Frankreich oder Spanien zutreffend, in dem Leute frei fühlten direkt zu fragen, ob ich ein Jude war, oder (in Nordirland) mich anscheinend vermeiden Sie, weil sie so glaubten. Ich wurde nicht auch gestört, weil 1) ich bin nicht jüdisch, und tatsächlich sorgte mich ich vor kurzem mein erstes Pesach Seder, ein leuchtendes Zugwrack einer Zeremonie, die ich vollständig genoß, obgleich was Bedeutung es jüdisch seiend ich noch mußte, verstehen nicht; und 2) mindestens Europäer sind über ihren Rassismus direkt. Das Land mit den die meisten Haß, Überraschung! würde die guten alten USA sein, in denen ich physikalisch und mündlich angegriffen nur für das Aussehen jüdisch gewesen bin. Selbstverständlich bin ich nicht zu Persien noch gewesen.

Phew!

Let's take a cue from the always wry artist Frida Kahlo, who once asked the American anti-Semite Henry Ford, who'd hired her husband for a little job, "Mr. Ford, are you Jewish?" Because he hadn't noticed that she was.

Pity the poor Germans and their other problems:
Exploding toads baffle German experts
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/afp/20050423/od_afp/germanytoadsoffbeat_050423161657

Nothing, of course, compared to the AMERICAN CRISIS!
School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon - Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050429/ap_on_fe_st/burrito_lockdown
Man Pleads Guilty in French Fries Rage
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/
ap/20050426/ap_on_fe_st/out_of_fries

Or the Russians...
Inflatable doll stolen in Moscow sex shop heist - Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20050428/
od_afp/russiacrimesexoffbeat_050428143855

I'd also like to remind you, friends, just briefly about the flood of Polish jokes that appeared when John Paul II began his long reign. And don't forget, he was also widely hated by some, especially the Jesuits (who saw OPUS DEI once again push them out of their tradition role in Catholic education, and I saw this one up close.) Also, does no one remember (it gives me a warm feeling) when Sinéad O'Connor, that apostatic Irish wench, tore a photo of John Paul in pieces on "Saturday Night Live"?? She yelled "Fight the real enemy!" and though I was cheering (my WASP friends noncomprehending), NBC got plenty of complaints, probably many more than CBS did for a glimpse of Janet Jackson's tit.

John Paul also gets some of that "bad German" rap, even though he was a Pole (thanks, I think, Robert):
I think it's important to keep in mind that Zyklon B was not intended for use as a lethal gas by the manufacturer. Karol Wojtyla was probably just following orders like everyone else.
< http://www.cloakanddagger.ca/media/S_284_S/BALANCED%20VIEW%20OF%20POPES.htm >

But he's got his own problems, especially once he finds that heaven is nothing compared to the Vatican (thanks, Ellen):
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4115

Does anyone remember a book that came out in the late 1990s called The Bad Popes? Believe me, the old men waving at us from the Vatican have nothing on these guys. The most hated pope, undoubtedly, was Pope Leo X (Giovanni de Medici), who drained the Vatican treasury and made up the difference by selling "indulgences", which led Martin Luther to shatter the Catholic Church.
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09162a.htm
How about the troubled John XII
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/08426b.htm
right after...Benedict V
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02428b.htm
...St. Gregory VII (a saint!)
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/06791c.htm
...Alexander VI
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/01289a.htm

And even more:
http://www.thetrumpet.com/index.php?page=article&id=293

But seriously, who cares?
A Pope Is a Pope Is a Pope
By Lakshmi Chaudhry
AlterNet
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/042205O.shtml

Here is an amazing (and scary) article about the Men of God in our own country:
The Theocrats
By William Rivers Pitt
t r u t h o u t Perspective
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/041905Y.shtml

They send out absurd, cantankerous men to do their bidding:
Is Darth Vader Next?
By Max J. Castro
Progreso Weekly
Bolton rounds out Bush's new team.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/042105K.shtml

I mean, just think about comparing a jerk like Bolton to our friend Lorinda Earl, who is running for a REAL office up in Vancouver:
http://www.codepinkvancouver.org/

The difference is very plain; they permit...
Canadian Government Approves OTC Status for Emergency Contraception
Feminist Daily News Wire
http://www.truthout.org/issues_05/042205WB.shtml

We ban...
US Accused of Trying to Block Abortion Pills
By Sarah Boseley
The Guardian UK
http://www.truthout.org/issues_05/042105WA.shtml
The Battle over Birth Control
By Gretchen Cook
Salon.com
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/042705K.shtml
Moral Judgments on Birth Control Endangering Women's Lives
By Bonnie Erbe
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Here's an outrage for you. There's a growing movement among pharmacists and even doctors to refuse to provide legal and necessary health services.
http://www.truthout.org/issues_05/040605WB.shtml
Pharmacies Balk on After-Sex Pill and Widen Fight in Many States
By Monica Davey and Pam Belluck
The New York Times
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/041905E.shtml

Well, SOME Californians have good sense:
Senator Boxer Proposes Bill to Require Pharmacies to Fill All Prescriptions
Feminist Daily News Wire
http://www.truthout.org/issues_05/042705HB.shtml

We censor...
Alabama Bill Targets Gay Authors
CBS News
A college production tells the story of Matthew Sheppard, a student beaten to death because he was gay. And soon, it could be banned in Alabama.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/042705N.shtml

Canadians are generally sensible folk:
Canadian police advise against lying in the road
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20050418/od_uk_nm/oukoe_life_canada_road

We can't snort or burn or shoot our way out...
Cocaine Policy: American Impasse
By Alain Délétroz
Le Monde
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/040705I.shtml

But we can inconvenience you, EVEN if you never set foot in our country...
Passenger Lists Sought for Flights over US
By Sara Kehaulani Goo
The Washington Post
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/042105L.shtml

Kinda like these Los Angeles artists:
Guerrilla Art Group Mocks Exclusive Enclaves
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20050427/od_nm/life_enclaves_dc

But it's just a mockery of our friends over in Europe:
Faking Civil Society
By Jonathan Schell
TomDispatch/The Nation Magazine
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/040705E.shtml

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, it's heating up for the EU constitution...
The upshot if the French vote ‘no’
International Herald Tribune
If French voters reject the European Union's constitution next month, what would come next for the EU?
http://www.iht.com/articles/2005/04/14/news/eu.html
All Europeans
By Jean-Marie Colombani
Le Monde
Within a month, the French will have said yes or no to the Constitutional Treaty of the European Union that has been submitted to them. With and after France, a dozen other countries, members of this Union, will be called upon to decide by referendum; the others, either out of tradition or caution, leaving to their Parliaments the responsibility for ratification.
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/042805I.shtml
Dutch start referendum campaign
Link to article:
http://www.euobserver.com/?aid=18881
Click the following to access the sent link:
CNN.com - Bulgaria, Romania gain EU entry - Apr 13, 2005*

And exciting things are happening in Poland...
** Poland confirms Iraq withdrawal **
Poland says its troops will leave Iraq at the end of 2005, when the UN mandate for the force expires.
< http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/europe/4436165.stm >
Poland Confirms Iraq Withdrawal
BBC
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/041205M.shtml
Click the following to access the sent link:
CNN.com - Poland sets date for Iraq pullout - Apr 12, 2005*

In Spain...
Spain: Gay Marriage Will Soon Be Authorized
Le Nouvel Observateur
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/042105I.shtml

Us Americans are all about the money...
Rhode Island Police Say Man Offered Steak for Sex - Yahoo! News
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050429/ap_on_fe_st/steak_for_sex

But we still lord over Japan...
Japan emerges as America's deputy sheriff in the Pacific
Simon Tisdall
The Guardian
Escalating tension with China, violently illustrated by renewed anti-Japanese protests in Shanghai and other big cities at the weekend, is increasing pressure on Tokyo to expand its military capabilities and back a deepening strategic alliance with the US reaching from east Asia to the Gulf.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldbriefing/
story/0,15205,1463075,00.html

And maybe even in the two most populous countries in the world:
India, China Forge Link Hoping to 'Reshape World Order'
By John Lancaster
The Washington Post
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/041205E.shtml

Vive le screed!