Greetings, many friends,
Before I depart for Europe, I have some select words of wisdom...
"Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes, until someone passes out. Then bring us a pitcher every ten minutes."
-- Rodney Dangerfield
In case of some dire emergency (unless you are in Europe) you can reach me via my host, Adam Steiner, at 011 33 1 47 00 70 49 (within Paris 01 47...but you already know that.) I won't know until I get to Paris the number of my hotel...or even its name (ah, mystery.) Less urgent cries for help or cognac requests are best sent to my "mobile" e-mail, email@example.com. Until then, au revoir.
I can't wait around for us to declare war on Cuba. Speaking of war, guess who John Malkovich wants to kill now?
Next up in the global comedy called a "foreign policy", another Arab state gets a gold-engraved membership to the Axis of Evil:
Headline: In US 'war on terror,' Syria is foe - and friend
Byline: Nicholas Blanford
Special to The Christian Science Monitor
Click here to read this story online: http://www.csmonitor.com/2002/0514/p01s04-wome.html
Here's an interesting sample from the article:
Majd Tabaa, owner of the fashionable Oxygen restaurant in Damascus, became an instant celebrity in the Arab world last month when she ejected from her establishment Roberto Powers, consul at the US Embassy. "Americans are good people, and Roberto is a nice person and a good customer, but I wanted to get my message across to America," she says. Since then, the blond-haired mother of three has appeared on Arab television stations, received dozens of phone calls in support, and even discounts on a recent shopping trip to Beirut, the capital of neighboring Lebanon. "Everybody is so depressed and angry, especially when Bush calls Sharon a 'man of peace,' " she says. Ms. Tabaa vowed that the ban on American diplomats visiting her restaurant will remain until Washington "shows just a bit of an unbiased stand in the Middle East."
And now, for something completely different...the scum atop life's pond...the dregs of society fighting their way to the top of the heap...heap of WHAT? And who better to lead off the parade of fools, than the former German Chancellor, Herr Kohl?
Kohl Burned by Hot Jewish Offering
Then, perhaps, a ray of hope for women in the former Soviet Union...
Lithuania Drops Driver OB-GYN Tests
...and more hope for women in the former Soviet Union. (Warning: Bad taste ahead.)
Sunbather Mistaken for Kournikova Due to Nipples
The animals know how to take revenge...
Cat Goes on Rampage, Evicts Owners
Unfortunately, the future is not so bright for the "French Hens"...
Police Bust High-Class Parisian Sex Ring for Stars
And finally, two stories you will hear about in this year's "Darwin" awards, I promise...two men who really make you feel good about living...with a brain.
Man Dies in 'Horseplay' on London Underground
Suspect Brings Drugs to Court
On that note, mes amis, bon voyage, and remember: No e-mail to this account until 14 June, until then, send your messages to: firstname.lastname@example.org
19 May 2002
Greetings, many friends,