The Friends of California Libre...

02 March 2003

Mardi Gras

Greetings, friends,
First of all, can we have a moment of silence for Mr. Rogers? Yeah, Ronald Reagan just outlived another one of my mentors. Some of you were asking about all these weird letters and other right-wing screedlets which were screaming around while Clinton was President, only to be cited years later as evidence for war. Yeah, Iraq's had its ass in the fire for a long time. Read all the rants of Mr. Wolfewitz et al. here, and know the future:

Okay, so I'm hearing some complaints, like how DARE you malign our public transit system. In response I'll select one day in the life of the LA Metro to hold up as an 'bout today? I know it's Mardi Gras, but... On the way down into Pershing Square Station, I hear this huge clunking on the escalator behind me, not like somebody running or jumping, but more like Frankenstein. At the bottom I get the courage to glance over my shoulder, and there's a four-foot tall Central American woman with a METAL FOOT. That's nothing, you say, I was ridin' the A train to Harlem and saw a guy with a METAL HAND. Well, I retort, as I board the North Hollywood-bound Red Line, jammed between a very smelly street camper and an overly perfumed Armenian matron, I'm suddenly confronted with a red-faced drunk in a dapper suit covered with NFL pins, who begins questioning three teenage skateboard punks behind me about where did they get their trucks? Meanwhile across from me is the ultimate New Yorker transplanted to LA...a willowy blonde, overdressed, too much long cashmere coat, the only one riding without hanging on, pulling out individual sections of the New York Times from under her arm, flipping them outwards and then folding them loudly into a quarter section for easy reading, and then quickly scanning them and jamming them into her oversized purse, already bulging with previously folded and jammed newspaper sections. Between the drunk, who is now talking to a pair of bemused Asian men, and this woman, we are getting a lot of entertainment. But we're not done, because, at the top of the escalator at the Sunset Station, three evil black helicopters are hovering over the tops of Kaiser Permanente and Children's Hospital, while everyone twists their necks looking for god-knows-what kind of crime, and then the biggest blackest helicopter of all swoops down and lands on the roof of Children's Hospital.

Okay, let's pause for the stupidest thing I've seen in ages. I can't even grasp this one fully: PETA Wants Beer Instead of Milk As Wisconsin State Beverage

So, did anyone see Dennis Miller on the "Tonight Show" last week? I don't watch that stuff (I find it hard to watch TV, and Jay Leno's chin...whoaa) but WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! Remember when we were young and stupid and thought Dennis Miller was kinda COOL? WHAT A PRICK! It's amazing you could understand what he was saying, since he had George Bush's dick in his mouth the whole time! Yikes! I mean, with most of these bastards, they're a known quantity, some of them worked for NIXON for chrissakes...but DENNIS MILLER attackin' the French? What next, I turn on the idiot box and Joe Lieberman's rappin' 'bout the NEW WORLD ORDER? Oops...TOO LATE.

Anyway, here's what the damn French can expect when real Americans get pissed off enough at them:
U.S. fires warning shot at France

And here's something that you rarely see...the English being called too liberal:
*Cannabis law sends 'wrong signal'*

If you'd like to quote annoying facts at your conservative friends and relatives, the following is a confidential UN report leaked to a group in Cambridge, which in turn published it on the Internet. This report estimates that in the event of a US attack, civilian casualties could total 500,000 with some 900,000 Iraqi refugees.
(Warning: big file; 1Mb PDF)

And for your "bomb ya later" files, pictures and video of Donald Rumsfeld, then special envoy of President Reagan, making friends in Baghdad on 20 December 1983:

Finally, for those who are curious, the text of the current resolution being floated at the UN Security Council by America and her best friends, England and Spain. Have a great MARDI GRAS! Thanks, guys, bomb ya later,
> The Security Council,
> > RECALLING all its previous relevant resolutions, in particular its resolutions 661 (1990) of 6 August 1990, 678 (1990) of 29 November 1990, 686 (1991) of 2 March 1991, 687 (1991) of 3 April 1991, 688 (1991) of 5 April 1991, 707 (1991) of 15 August 1991, 715 (1991) of 11 October 1991, 986 (1995) of 14 April 1995, 1284 (1999) of 17 December 1999 and 1441 (2002) of 8 November 2002, and all the relevant statements of its president,
> > RECALLING that in its Resolution 687 (1991) the Council declared that a cease-fire would be based on acceptance by Iraq of the provisions of that resolution, including the obligations on Iraq contained therein,
> > RECALLING that its Resolution 1441 (2002), while acknowledging that Iraq has been and remains in material breach of its obligations, afforded Iraq a final opportunity to comply with its disarmament obligations under relevant resolutions,
> > RECALLING that in its Resolution 1441 (2002) the Council decided that false statements or omissions in the declaration submitted by Iraq pursuant to that resolution and failure by Iraq at any time to comply with, and cooperate fully in the implementation of, that resolution, would constitute a further material breach,
> > NOTING, in that context, that in its Resolution 1441 (2002), the Council recalled that it has repeatedly warned Iraq that it will face serious consequences as a result of its continued violations of its obligations,
> > NOTING that Iraq has submitted a declaration pursuant to its Resolution 1441 (2002) containing false statements and omissions and has failed to comply with, and cooperate fully in the implementation of, that resolution,
> > REAFFIRMING the commitment of all member states to the sovereignty and territorial integrity of Iraq, Kuwait, and the neighboring states,
> > MINDFUL of its primary responsibility under the Charter of the United Nations for the maintenance of international peace and security,
> > RECOGNIZING the threat Iraq's noncompliance with Council resolutions and proliferation of weapons of mass destruction and long-range missiles poses to international peace and security,
> > DETERMINED to secure full compliance with its decisions and to restore international peace and security in the area,
> > ACTING under Chapter VII of the Charter of the United Nations,
> > DECIDES that Iraq has failed to take the final opportunity afforded it in Resolution 1441 (2002);
> > DECIDES to remain seized of the matter.

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