This is a "limited edition" screed. I'm replying to some of you who've sent me the enclosed articles.
First though, here's a piece of spam I recently received, which really speaks to our times. I've highlighted my favorite parts:
Hello our potential customer
We would like to introduce our new-born sites
where you can shop around most wanted and needed items in your life. Our weapon section has wide range of hard-to-find machine guns, silencers, armour-piercing ammos and others.
First of all, let's check our 3 top-selling items:
1. Russian surface-to-air missle SA-14 "Gremlin" (upgraded analog of SS-16 "Strela") from our supplies in Kazakhstan. Due to high demand, it takes about 4 weeks to backorder that item. Weight is 10,2 kg., lenght - 1427 mm. You can make a huge party and you can have tons of fun launching your "Gremlin" with your buddies.
2. Israeli bestselling submashine-gun "Tavor" 5.56" (upgraded analog of 7.65" "Uzi"), comes with 2 full clips of standart ammo + bonus one clip of armour-piercing ammo.
3. Russian booby trap made in 5 versions:
- a bottle of Jim Beam (200 grammes of C4 inside),
- a can of Budlight beer (150 grammes of C4 inside),
- a Barbie-doll (100 grammes of C4 inside),
- a cell phone (50 grammes of C4 inside),
- a lighter Zippo (25 grammes of C4 insid You can take one with you to the school or college and have alot of fun with your buddies.
Buy more than 10 pieces of booby traps, and we upgrade C4 to C4+ for free. (C4+ can not be detected in airports or any other areas). Also we have our Dutch-based shop where you can buy some drugs to make your life more wonderful and funny. We have wide selection of Ganzha, Crack, both synthetic and natural Heroin. And our prices are affordables for everyone. If you want to buy anything from us, just visit our site, contact administrator and get full price-list. We accept all major credit cards, wire transfers and money orders. Please ask for details if you want to use Western Union or Moneygram money transfers.
P.S. Due to our government laws all items from our shop can be sold only to 18+ aged people. We can ask you for age verification before shipping. You can also make an order by the phone: 973-442-3401 fax: 973-989-5535 973-590-5000 Fax: 973-590-5080
Anyway, I'm pressing ahead with my plans, without weapons:
Americans who say no to Bush can say yes to Canada
I even signed up here, although I think these Canadians are having too much of a joke at our expense:
Worried about the upcoming U.S. election? Want to save a progressive American from another Bush administration? It’s easy Marry an American!
Go to http://www.marryanamerican.ca/ to do your part!
So for uppity Canadians I included this tear-jerker sent to me (although I added some rebuttals):
Published on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 by CommonDreams.org
Ten Reasons Not to Move to Canada
by Sarah Anderson
Ready to say screw this country and buy a one-way ticket north? Here are some reasons to stay in the belly of the beast.
1. The Rest of the World. After the February 2003 antiwar protests, the New York Times described the global peace movement as the world's second superpower. Their actions didn't prevent the war, but protesters in nine countries have succeeded in pressuring their governments to pull their troops from Iraq and/or withdraw from the so-called "coalition of the willing."Antiwar Americans owe it to the majority of the people on this planet who agree with them to stay and do what they can to end the suffering in Iraq and prevent future pre-emptive wars.
[Joel sez: The only way an American will end the war is by shooting a lot of people in the head.]
2. People Power Can Trump Presidential Power. The strength of social movements can be more important than whoever is in the White House. Example: In 1970, President Nixon supported the Occupational Safety and Health Act, widely considered the most important pro-worker legislation of the last 50 years. It didn't happen because Nixon loved labor unions, but because union power was strong. Stay and help build the peace, economic justice, environmental and other social movements that can make change.
[Joel sez: Yah right.]
3. The great strides made in voter registration and youth mobilization must be built on rather than abandoned.
[Joel sez: Yah right again.]
4. Like Nicaraguans in the 1980s, Iraqis Need U.S. Allies. After Ronald Reagan was re-elected in 1984, progressives resisted the urge to flee northwards and instead stayed to fight the U.S. governments secret war of arming the contras in Nicaragua and supporting human rights atrocities throughout Central America. Iraq is a different scenario, but we can still learn from the U.S.-Central America solidarity work that exposed illegal U.S. activities and their brutal consequences and ultimately prevailed by forcing a change in policy.
[Joel sez: Iraq needs a strong UN. And I think the Nicaraguans got a lot more help from Canada and other UN nations than from US college kids going down to Managua to drop acid and pick coffee. YAH, RIGHT.]
5. We Can't Let up on the 'Free Trade' Front Activists have held the Bush administration at bay on some issues. On trade, opposition in the United States and in developing countries has largely blocked the Bush administrations corporate-driven trade agenda for four years. The President is expected to soon appoint a new top trade negotiator to break the impasse. Whoever he picks would love to see a progressive exodus to Canada.
[Joel sez: No one, repeat no one in the US Government, not even Paul Celucci (the US ambassador to Canada, natch) gives two shits about Canada. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Cellucci]
6. Barack Obama. His victory to become the only African-American in the U.S. Senate was one of the few bright spots of the election. An early opponent of the Iraq war, Obama trounced his primary and general election opponents, even in white rural districts, showing he could teach other progressives a few things about broadening their base. As David Moberg of In These Times puts it, 'Obama demonstrates how a progressive politician can redefine mainstream political symbols to expand support for liberal policies and politicians rather than engage in creeping capitulation to the right.'
[Joel sez: YAH RIGHT! Tell it to Colin Powell.]
7. Say so long to the DLC. Barry Goldwater suffered a resounding defeat when he ran for president against Lyndon Johnson in 1964, but his campaign spawned a conservative movement that eventually gained control of the Republican Party and elected Ronald Reagan in 1980. Progressives should see the excitement surrounding Dean, Kucinich, Moseley Braun, and Sharpton during the primary season as the foundation for a similar takeover of the Democratic Party.
[Joel sez: The Democrats are about to be shredded by the Christians, right after they finish tearing up the Republican Party. Then your kids get prayer in school...and not much else.]
8. 2008. President Bush is entering his second term facing an escalating casualty rate in Iraq, a record trade deficit, a staggering budget deficit, sky-high oil prices, and a deeply divided nation. As the Republicans face likely failure, progressives need to start preparing for regime change in 2008 or sooner. Remember that Nixon was reelected with a bigger margin than Bush, but faced impeachment within a year.
[Joel sez: Good for you kids. This 39 year old librarian wants a little pot farm on an island OFF THE COAST OF CANADA. I'll be happy to send you money, guns, food, gasoline, methanol, whatever from there.]
9. Americans are Not All Yahoos. Although I wouldn't attempt to convince a Frenchman of it right now, many surveys indicate that Americans are more internationalist than the election results suggest. In a September poll by the University of Maryland, majorities of Bush supporters expressed support for multilateral approaches to security, including the United States being part of the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (68%), the International Criminal Court (75%), the treaty banning land mines (66%), and the Kyoto Treaty on climate change (54%). The problem is that most of these Bush supporters weren't aware that Bush opposed these positions. Stay and help turn progressive instincts into political power.
[Joel sez: Huh? Who did they poll? Not the "heartland".]
10. Winter. Average January temperature in Ottawa: 12.2°F.
[Joel sez: average January temp in Vancouver: 37 F, same as Paris (and 5 degrees warmer than New York City, ha ha.]
How about another in favor of Canada?
The following is a news item posted on CBC NEWS ONLINE
USA PATRIOT ACT COMES UNDER FIRE IN B.C. REPORT
WebPosted Fri Oct 29 18:58:19 2004
Victoria---The USA Patriot Act violates British Columbia's privacy laws
because it can order American companies to hand over information on
British Columbians in secret, B.C. Privacy Commissioner David Loukidelis
In a report on the privacy implications of the Patriot Act, Loukidelis
notes that once information is sent across borders, it's difficult, if
not impossible, to control.The 151-page report states that under the Patriot Act, the U.S.
government can demand access to a wide range of personal and confidential
information about Canadians from U.S. financial institutions, phone
companies and internet providers."It is never possible to guarantee perfect protection of information.Regardless, our report concludes that measures can and should be put in
place that meaningfully guard against access by the USA Patriot Act,"said Loukidelis.One important recommendation is to have Ottawa and the provinces pass
legislation that will "prohibit personal information from being stored or
sent outside Canada."Loukidelis would also like to make it illegal for Canadian subsidiaries
of U.S. firms to turn over information to a U.S. agency without aCanadian court order.Nova Scotia, Saskatchewan and Ontario employ U.S.based companies to
manage provincial government databases.
The B.C. government has contracted out some business to one U.S. firm and
wants to use another American company to operate the province's Medical
Services Plan.CIBC credit card holders in Canada sign an agreement that allows personalinformation about them to be viewed by U.S. authorities, the report said.The privacy commissioner began his investigation earlier this year after
concerns were raised about the effect of the Patriot Act on the privacy
rights of British Columbians.This month the B.C. government passed a law to prevent the U.S. from
examining information on British Columbians that is in the possession ofprivate U.S. companies.Those that break that law risk fines from $2,000 for individuals and$500,000 for corporations.The Patriot Act was enacted following the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11,2001. It allows the U.S. government to review information on private and
public businesses in an effort to hunt down terrorists.
Copyright (C) 2004 CBC. All rights reserved.
Vive le Screed!
Joel J. Rane, Reference Librarian
Literature and Fiction Department
Los Angeles Public Library
Read the Screed at: http://home.earthlink.net/~jsmog/blog.html
Religions only look different if you get them from a retailer. If you get them
from a wholesaler, you'll find they all get it from the same distributor.
-- Stephen Gaskin, a redneck hippie from Tennessee
16 November 2004