The Burger-Eating War Monkey

Greetings, friends,
First let me apologize for distributing the "Presidential I.Q. Test", which as Ms. Ged informs me, is an old Internet hoax. Too bad...but you know how biased we librarians are. The editor of the National Review recently let us have it:
http://www.townhall.com/columnists/richlowry/rl20030922.shtml
I especially like his comparing us to "naive college students and destitute Latin American peasants". Ouch!

Like General Patton, I'd like to personally shoot that paper-hanging son of a bitch. But the best revenge is living well. To wit:
Victim of Theft Steals His Truck Back
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20031002/ap_on_fe_st/double_stolen_truck

Okay, I hope you enjoy this as I did (thanks, Mike):

Subject: rede ths

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

For those (meaning nearly everyone) who missed the Elio Petri festival at the LA County Museum of Art, it was AMAZING! This Italian director, who made most of his work between 1964 and 1973, had the most wonderfully black sense of humor I've been honored to sit through. Many of you might know the cult film "The Tenth Victim", which is great, but I would also recommend "We Kill the Old Way", the first (and most humorously nasty) film about the Mafia, and "Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion", which I think is the best film I have EVER seen about fascism. None of these films (except "The Tenth Victim") are on DVD or video, so if you see them come around to your town in revival houses...GO SEE THEM!

The rest of this Euro-themed screed honors my friends who still live in a bastion of Western Civilization. How much do you know about Europe? After all, you might have a EUROPEAN LEADER very soon (especially if you DON'T VOTE this Tuesday.) Take this test about Euro-Bureaucracy (PS I got seven out of ten right, thanks):
** Brussels brainbuster **
Test your knowledge of the European Union and your grasp of the trivia of the Brussels way of life.
< http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/europe/3153432.stm >

Here's an article about Mr. Chirac, and how far apart he really is from Mr. Bush (not that far at all, but personality counts):
News analysis: U.S.-France rift is deep, but just a step wide
By Elaine Sciolino/NYT
http://www.iht.com./articles/111711.htm

It seems that Americans have some funny stereotypes about the French and the Germans. This article will be educational for some of you and a laugh for others:
News Analysis: Meet Mr. Germany and Ms. France
By Nina Bernstein/NYT
http://www.iht.com./articles/111654.htm

I like to think that the French really have a rather unrealistic way of looking at life, and more power to them:
Sick of Smoking Warnings? Hide Them!
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20030930/od_nm/odd_france_smoking_dc

But pretty soon it might be cheaper to fly to Europe and try out their cigarettes:
** EU-US in 'open skies' talks **
Talks aimed at liberalising air services between the US and Europe get underway in Washington.
< http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/business/3156854.stm >

Good, because a strong devotion to personal liberty, the right not to eat genetically modified food, national healthcare, a top-notch transportation system, a vague attempt to promote world peace and a few other post WWII European qualities might result in future economic superiority over our lush American way of life:
http://www.EUobserver.com/index.phtml?aid=12893&sid=9

To say nothing of their comforting late night television:
Am I on Fire or Is It Just German TV?
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20031003/od_nm/odd_germany_fire_dc

Hopefully our friends in Russia won't decide to sell an A-bomb to Osama bin Laden and hasten the fall of the American Empire in a rather, ahem, dramatic fashion. Yikes!

Russian bomb makers to have idle hands
U.S. cancels program designed to send scientists into alternate fields


By Ian Hoffman, STAFF WRITER
Tuesday, September 30, 2003 - As the Bush administration touts its success in securing Russia's gargantuan nuclear weapons complex, it also has chosen not to renew the only U.S. program aimed at turning Russian nuclear weapons scientists and factories to nondefense work.

Meanwhile, protest against the uncharged, unnamed prisoners at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba continues, with Europeans leading the way. I mean, the Europeans have emptied all their dungeons, knocked down the Bastille, turned the Tower and Vlad Dracula's castle into tourist sites, eh?
http://www.EUobserver.com/index.phtml?aid=12876&sid=9

Why bother with torture when you can wallow in heartbreak?
Cell Phones Reveal Love Affairs in Italy
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030928/ap_on_hi_te/betrayal_by_phone

By the way, did YOU know that 19 September was "Talk Like a Pirate Day"? I sure didn't (or should I say, arrr, thanks again, Mike):
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

See ya in Italy, Austria, Switzerland and Slovenia next year, my Continental friends!
Vive le Screed!